It has been a while since I have shared my personal life on this blog. When updating my linktree with the blog posts, I noticed that I have been heavy with sharing my creativity but not so much about little old me. Well this year has been quite tumultuous (like the mountain pictured) although we are only in the 2nd quarter. Now let me elaborate LOL.

PUT YOUR MONEY WHERE YOUR MOUTH IS……..

The year started on a high in January for I felt that 2019 was going to be my year. You know how sometimes you can just feel it in your bones, that all is going to work out in your favor. Well all that you put your heart, blood and sweat into. So with that fire in my belly, I decided to invest in Ball & Jacks Designs by joining Houzz’s marketing program in order to gain more clientele here in the Charlotte area. I was ready to expand my clientele beyond my friends, family and associates. I was ready to take my “hobby” and turn it into a real business.

GHOSTED………

Upon turning into a “Pro” by Houzz’s definition, I received 5 inquiries in the first week. The projects would cover my business expense of the Houzz membership + planned future investments easily for the year! However, I soon learned that all of these inquiries turned into ghost inquiries. I was starting to doubt my decision to invest so heavily in my dream. First month went by, with no responses. I was starting to despise the Houzz notifications popping on my phone screen and I was no longer excited about contacting potential clients. My self-esteem was shot. I was questioning if I should give up my entire dream.

I also decided to launch a special in February as a Valentine’s Day gift for potential clients. I offered a $214 space refresh special. I ran the special thorough the 28th hoping that I would gain enough clients to at least cover my business expenses until I get another job. All one had to do was click on the link and sign book their consultation via my website. Not. one. person. booked. I was shocked and highly disappointed. I was basically giving my gift away for free…..yet no one purchased the deal.

CONFIRMATION……

In March, I was finally able to speak with a potential client. Then the 1 turned into 3. My luck was turning around. Although none of the 3 have turned into signed contracts at this time, I felt like my investment was not in vain. In April, I received the greatest call from a potential client. Unlike the others, she sought out for me and loved my work. She and her husband weren’t ready to start the renovations right now, but it was in their plan for the year to transform their entire home AND she wants me to do it :-). It took everything in me to fight back the tears on that phone call. It had become clear in that moment that I received the what I started, Ball & Jacks Designs is what I am meant to do. It is a vision I was given as a child but it took decades for me to realize that my skill / dream as a decorator / designer is a gift. In a world of social media, it is tough to stay true to yourself and your gift when you see others doing whatever to make a quick buck and it making millions with thousands and millions of followers. But I am going to remain true and share my gift with the world everyday with words and photos through the vessels of social media, this blog, and the awesome people I encounter on this journey.

ARE YOU KIDDING ME?…….

In the middle of this, I learned on January 31st, that my job was being eliminated on February 1st. Yup, I was told that in less than 24 hours, that my job that was financially supporting our home AND Ball & Jacks Designs was being eliminated. After I had just moved into my brand new glass office as an upgrade. After I had just decorated said office space and shared its transformation on social media. After I had given up all of my free time to support a pivotal department solo for almost an entire year. I wasn’t bothered that I was losing my job….I was bothered how I was losing my job. I was in a role where I had to be connected to my phone and/or WiFi 24-7. Had not taken a real vacation for I couldn’t go anywhere I couldn’t plug in my laptop. (My idea of a vacation includes a passport and all electronic devices being locked up). The job came with great pay and good benefits, but I was dying. My anxiety was on 100 for I was constantly checking my email and hoping that nothing hit the fan so I could get my hair washed, nails done, or just take a nap. Thinking back, I do not think I suffered from anxiety until this job. Although I was stressed about finances, I was happy to be free. I no longer had to be stuck to a phone unless I wanted to. I could disappear for a day. I could get my hair and nails done without my phone in my hand. I could go to the gym anytime I felt like it. I could finally place my own well-being first and foremost. Corporate America was no longer my priority and it felt great.

SAVING GRACE & HAPPY PLACE……

Luckily I had decided to January to enroll in the Interior Design for your Home program at CPCC. I was even wise enough to pay for all of the courses up front. So I didn’t have to squeeze my budget further to make this investment work. The week after I lost my job, I started my first course, Color Theory / Interior Finishes for your Home. This week, I start the first day of the last course. For once in my life, I felt like I belonged. Don’t get me wrong, I was blessed with some awesome opportunities due to my engineering degree, but I have felt like a Fruit Loop in a box of Cheerios every since I entered Corporate America in 2006. Usually being the only female and person of color in a group of middle aged men did not allow me to be myself 100% of the time. Yet in the world of creatives, I am allowed and welcomed to be all of me. Loud, excited, nerdy, fashionable, and full of zest. I am also free to share my feelings and opinions. Polar opposite of the corporate world.

HELLO WAIST…..

In the new year, I also joined a gym. Although I was still working, I was able to find a local kickboxing gym near my home that offered early morning classes. Since my work days were unpredictable, I couldn’t hit a gym class after work. Every time I would sign up, some disaster would appear that would make me miss the class. However, the anxiety from my job was killing me slowly my adding stress to my mind and body thus throwing my hormones completely off. I was diagnosed with Polycystic Ovary Syndrome (PCOS) late last year, so it doesn’t take much for my hormones to be thrown off. My Dr. suggested that I add a workout regime to my already strict diet (allergic to dairy and soy). So I signed up for the 6 week challenge at the local gym. My goals for this challenge was to help me place my needs first AND to get me use to working out 4x a week minimum. It worked! Also I was able to lose a few pounds and a lot of inches during the challenge. Fast forward to today, although I am jobless, I have lost 30 lbs. The weight started melting away at an alarming rate when I lost my job. I took a month hiatus from the gym and somehow still managed to lose over 10 lbs.

CORPORATE AMERICA IS CALLING….

Yes I was enjoying my new freedom of not working BUT I was still looking for another job. Reality is one needs money to afford the necessities to live. My husband works but I have been the breadwinner our entire marriage. So my job loss was a big loss for our household. I finally got a break with a large company that was in need of my expertise and skills for their future state. However, after all of the interviews AND awaiting the job offer letter, somehow the company decided that it could not meet my compensation requirement. Although it was discussed and agreed upon prior to the first interview. Sigh. Back to the drawing board. I have applied for at least 50 jobs and only one got me into the first interview. I am either overqualified or I meet all of the requirements but they want to pay below average by a significant amount.

MY CURRENT STATE OF MIND….

Today I came across a video of Steve Harvey telling one of his audience members that maybe what you are looking for is not working out for you are meant to do something else. The gentleman was laid off from his job due to the company restructuring (sounds like me). He also shared that he had applied for may jobs but he keeps being told that he is overqualified or not qualified enough to make the money he was earning at his former employer (again sounds like me). Steve asked the gentleman if he had a gift. He said his gift were his kitchen skills. Steve told him to put his energy into his gift. He also shared that God has a way of pushing us out when we won’t take the jump like He keeps telling us to. So that rug being pulled from under you is a way for Him to make you work on what He wants you to work on. As soon as I finished watching the video, I started writing down what I could do. I came up with 5 actions I could do now.

Meditate & Pray
Share my journey / transition in my blog. This is the hardest thing for me to do. It makes me feel bad for making other feel bad for me for going through a storm. So I tend to keep it to myself.
I noticed that one of my Interior Design companies here in Charlotte are looking for people with or without sales experience. I save their Instagram post every time but never follow through with sending my resume.
The instructor for Color Theory (interior designer for 40 years) told me to keep in touch for I she said I have the gift of design and a strong eye for color.
The day I packed up my new office at my former job, I had befriended the interior designer that was responsible for making our new offices possible. She told me to keep in touch as well.

So I have these contacts and opportunities. I wonder if any or all of these will work in my favor. You never know unless you try. Shoot at this point I have nothing to lose and much more to gain. As Steve Harvey told that audience member, “You already unemployed, what else can happen to you.” LOL. I will keep you posted as how things transpire.

Sometimes God has to make you uncomfortable in order to make you move.